Its nights like those that make you wonder
by xSonya
Summary: It's only natural to fear the safety of the ones you love, and Iruka does just that one night.


The darkness rolled in quickly, as the clouds shuffled by in the sky. He looked up at them and watched, as like an image, _his_ face materialised in the visible white vapour. The clouds... Kakashi; white, and pure; they always reminded Iruka of him. The way his hair was perfectly spiked in the oddest ways, and those softest, yet strained features that adorned that beautiful face. The smallest of words, the shortest of glances, and the simplest of things like that were enough to dust a light shade of pink across Iruka's scarred nose.

A light breeze caressed his hair- the breeze of what seemed like the midnight air of a beautiful and calm summer's night. He ignored the light shade of grey that was quick to mask the sky above. His gaze dropped to that of the four statue faces of the Hokages.

"Is it wrong?" He questioned pointlessly up at the rocks that glimmered somewhat beautifully in the moonlight; looking to the Hokages for some kind of hidden answer. He was just hoping for some kind of answer, an insight as to what he should do... but to no avail, an inevitable 'nothing' followed with the constant light howling of the wind.

A single drop of rain fell upon his cheek. Followed by the harsh descent of others as if in protest of the feelings he had for the Jounin, he had just a little too much time to think things over recently. Team 7 had gone out on a mission and that had only made increased the incessant worrying that seemed to be instinctually built into him. It only made him think about him all the more. It wasn't a good thing. He knew he was a high class Jounin, but one could never be sure out there in that cold cruel world. Cruel. Ruthless. He dismissed the negative thoughts.

He shouldn't be worrying really, it's not like he was alone, but still... That doubt of safety will forever plague his mind.

Though, it was only natural to fear the safety of another-to fear the safety of those you supposedly loved. Could he call what he had for Kakashi-these lingering feelings-could he call them love? Or was it more of a silly little school girl's infatuation? He wouldn't say he was obsessed, but, on more than one occasion had he wanted to brush his fingers through that silver hair, and see if it was as soft and silky as it looked, to press his lips against his. He was curious to find out, to find out everything about Kakashi that he didn't already know. The very idea of it all though, was just silly, wasn't it? They were friends and good friends at that; nothing more, and nothing less.

He sighed loudly... One minute to be walking and alive, the next to be taking your last breath while you spat out your last and final words. That always seemed to be the way. When a shinobi would let one get close to them; that would be their biggest weakness-their biggest downfall- and, in the end their most cherished would always be torn away from them, in the most miserable and agonizing way. To live your life in seek of revenge, revenge of the one who took away from you the one person you once held dearest to you. Was it all seriously worth it? Was it worth the heartache? Was it worth the pain?

He was unable to hear the light patter of footsteps that was merged in with the now pounding rain sound almost silently from behind him.

"Oh, you're up here too." Iruka was startled by the smooth ring of a familiar voice- it was Kakashi. He had returned.

Iruka blushed furiously hoping the coldness of the rainy air would cool his face down before he would get a chance to see it.

"H-Hey." He stuttered, turning ever so slightly to see the silver-haired enigma close behind him. "You're back." Relief washing over his entire being as his tensed muscles slowly eased themselves. Was this his answer maybe? Was this his answer, standing right before him? He could feel his cheeks soon heat up again as that gaze refused to leave his face.

"It's nice up here, especially when it's raining." Kakashi's eyes curved lightly and he knew a smile graced that mysterious face hiding beneath his mask. He'd often wondered what lay underneath, what he kept so hidden from the world... He wanted to see, he wanted to see and to know everything about the man before him. He wanted to be the only one.

"Y-Yeah it is..." He trailed off. "Kakashi?" He turned fully to look up at him.

"Mmm?" The Jounin murmured with a distant glimmer in his eye. Iruka breathed a sigh.

"Never mind" It was easier this way, a lot easier. He would never be so lucky.

The winds intensity increased with each passing second. Iruka wasn't quite sure if the weather was for or against him at this point. He shivered.

"Cold?" He heard the light tone question, those hands languidly placed in his pocket, that trade-mark usual stance.

"A little" Iruka admitted.

He shivered again, more fiercely as the cold wind hit his water slicken skin. He jumped a little when an arm settled itself around his shoulders, rubbing up and down his arm with a large warm hand.

Iruka looked to the form that had him in an almost-embrace, just feeling the warmth radiating off him. The darkest shade of red adorned his caramel-coloured cheeks as he looked at the man smiling back at him. He was so close... so close and so very warm. He leaned ever so slightly into the touch. He could fall asleep right there, and for once in his life, he would be fully content and happy. He could feel the gentle tingling and fluttering sensations like little explosions in his stomach.

"T-thank you" He murmured.

"Iruka" Kakashi paused, looking up to the sky. "Do you sometimes ever wonder what is right, and what is wrong?" Kakashi stopped once more, but didn't look away from the sky, that distant glimmer in his dark clouded eye still present. "Do you ever feel that if you let someone get close to you, they will only be torn away again?" Iruka was unaware of what kind of past Kakashi had endured, but it sounded like he had lost someone very dear to him. Iruka said nothing only staring wide-eyed at the Silverette. "Sorry" Kakashi smiled once more as he looked fully to Iruka. Why was he apologising? "I'm rambling nonsense again"

'_Nothing you say is nonsense Kakashi'_ He wanted to say. '_Every word that comes out your mouth, every noise, it's special to me'_

"Yes, I do" Iruka pretended as if those last words of Kakashi's weren't uttered. Chocolate brown orbs sparkled, hoping they conveyed all that he couldn't say, all those feelings he couldn't express, just searching in Kakashi's for something, anything.

Had he been reading his mind or something? Or were these thoughts just wondering again, not just for him, but for the both of them? It made him hope, and it made him wonder, if maybe-just maybe- Kakashi felt something for him too, because it's just what nights like those did...

To them both.

4


End file.
